The Clearance Rack

Before I go any further, I should introduce a few of the people who I’ve come to know through work. As with any job, retail takes a bunch of diverse people and throws them on shift together, forces them to work as a team, and requires a level of trust to form immediately (though you may have known this person for no more than an hour). Luckily, I’ve had the great fortune to meet some incredible people in this manner and the bonds we’ve developed are stronger for it. Added to the normal level of workplace politics are the levels of stress brought on by dealing with multitudes of strangers every day, and the ebb and flow of the pace of business - this haas given us a dense core, and in some cases an ability to work together that is akin to mind-reading. Without further ado, meet the cast:

Yumi. My mentor, conspirator, thinker, and one of my best friends. She hired and trained me at the very start and since then I’ve been part of ‘the Group’. She’s very smart. She can be cold, analytical and is very no-nonsense when it comes to work. Dispels drama, gets her job (and her boss’ job) done. Definitely my older sister.

Rihanna. We’ve worked together since day 1, too. She’s a very close friend of mine. Don’t let our exteriors fool you: we are twins of mind. We’re at once polar opposite and alike, but that doesn’t stop us from doing what each needs the other to do (without uttering a word), and being clumsy together. We have a tendency to say the same things at the same time.

Shane. Shane is something again. A rocker at heart with scene-y tendencies, he will pull off just about any look you can think of (as long as it’s edgy and interesting). He was hired the same day as I was, and we worked together on and off over a period of two years. His live-hard inclinations, sarcastic wit and a mouth that can only be described as “daring” in its treatment of the public general, Shane and I bicker like siblings and rant to each other simultaneously. Somehow, this works.

Martine. Quiet, responsible and a study in composure and professionalism, Martine is also one of my mentors. Her and I share a lot of traits, few of which are obvious in the slightest at first glance. Our struggle in choosing a career path and scholastic background, as well as a love of architecture, unite us and give us ground for evening-long coffee sessions. She, too, is like an older sister to me.  While she left retail to pursue another career, her and I keep in touch.

These are a few of the great people I’ve met … and I introduce them here primarily so you’ll know who I’m talking about as I go along.  Many more characters to be intro’d at a later date.

Yesterday was the final day of our week-long sidewalk sale.  Finally.  No more standing outside watching the hungry hordes rifle through racks of discounted denim and other outlet-destined fashion.  No more being hassled in broken english (ok, that’s a lie - that’s going to continue, as per usual).  No more smart-ass security guards who will gleefully mock you by pretending to steal from your racks, or worse yet, tell you how excited you look about standing outside of your store for hours on end!

Granted, before you get the impression that the Semi-Annual Sidewalk Sale is a complete downer, it’s not all bad.  There are some interesting things to do outside.  Watching all of the characters that walk past your store, dressed in god-knows-what, is one such pastime.  Another is scouting for hot people (there are almost none in this suburban Mall of Dystopia).  Yet another is looking for the latest and tackiest Ed Hardy apparel.  I love those couples who walk through the mall, decked head to toe in Ed Hardy.  The guy is tall, steroid-ly muscular and wears a scowl on his face (so you don’t confuse his skin-tight designer jeans with homosexuality).  The girl is anorexically thin, has perky breasts and a see-through thin cotton Ed Hardy top through which you can see her belly button ring.  Usually they’re tanned - he’s orange coloured.  Me and Rihanna, my work conspirator and mock twin, spend a good part of our shifts on the lookout for such interesting, funny people.  But I digress.

Why are there so many people walking through the mall in neon green shirts?!?  Please enlighten me on this trend if you know anything about it.  The worst perpetrator I saw was this twenty-something guy shopping with his mom.  He was wearing a neon green polo shirt with matching  - matching! - neon green shorts that actually weren’t quite matching (they were a shade off)…with baby blue basketball shoes.  WHAT?! Worse yet, his mom was wearing a neon green tank top!  Yes, they were coordinated.  I was a trifle unenthused.  All in all, we saw 11 people wearing something that was overwhelmingly neon green.  What I’m trying to figure out is whence it came… Was Traffic Control Surplus having a sale?

Hi, may I speak with the manager?” The petite brunette girl looked mischievously up at me, and I was suddenly conscious of my height. “That’s me! What can I do for you?” “Hi, I’m Nick. I’d like to work for your store–” “CERTAINLY NOT!!!” Once the shocked and bewildered look on my face realized she was kidding, the girl laughed. “Oh, come here. We’ll talk to the real assistant manager… She’s right this way…”

… As a college student working my way through school, I have spent 3 years working the floors of high-end retail boutiques in my city. I thought retail would be a way to gain exposure to my specialization of choice - marketing - but mainly to pay tuition, and leverage a store discount to keep me in style for the duration of my schooling. I had no idea where this career choice would take me. 36 months and millions of social interactions later all my insight into the heights and depths of humanity has left me with nothing but more curiosity about our species. Moreover, the unspoken observations, lessons learned, and lives changed by that great social reactor, The Workplace, have shaped my life in ways I would never have thought possible.

This is my blog to anyone who has ever worked retail - even if you haven’t, I hope to give you a look into the complex and turbulent world of working a job with bad pay and even less respect.  Stay tuned…